the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
