you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
