Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
