we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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