i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
