So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
You're a waste of cheezeits
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
