All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
