i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
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