do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
