Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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