I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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