I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize