i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
you inspire me to be a worse person
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
