I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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