I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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