A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Randomize
