Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
He did a backflip because drugs
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
