I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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