fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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