if i died would you start the facebook group?
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
