Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
i came on her dog
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
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