If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
My vagina just clenched in fear
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