PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
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