I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
