Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
