Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
