READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
