i think i have two assholes
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
