I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
