He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Randomize
