your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
