his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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