Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
