I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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