I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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