THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
