Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
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