Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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