The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize