fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
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