i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
