I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
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