just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
