yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Can vaginas get frostbite?
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
