just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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