hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
