i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Randomize