Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
