I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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