Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Never underestimate the power of titties
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