Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize