"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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