We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
