I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
