just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
