You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I think I sprained my soul last night
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Randomize
