What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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