So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
A+ Viking dick
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
