singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
